Catholic during the Great Apostasy

Once I was young — very young.

I believed that people were better, that the world wasn’t so bad.

In my dreams I saw my life — full of adventures, full of love, full of the fight for freedom.

I wanted so much to change something, I wanted so much to be different.

I read a lot — and I drank too.

Dreams faded, faith in people fell. The world showed me what it is.

Now I know how deeply I was wrong.

Yesterday’s day, long gone now, was a teacher worth listening to, but a teacher not worth following.

Now I know. Now I see.

So please — don’t tell me what to do. So please — don’t disturb me when I’m searching for my path.

I drowned my youth in a glass of dreams. I lost my freedom when I was born anew.

Only pain and longing remained — pain that slowly kills, longing that never passes, for what was lost, for what could have been but never was.

How deeply the world hates us — you’ll see it when you cast away your dreams.

So please — don’t tell me what to do. So please — don’t disturb me when I’m searching for my path.

Arkadiusz Niewolski