Catholic during the Great Apostasy

I. Since nothing is so opposed to our purpose as sin, we should carefully consider its evil, heaviness, and ugliness, that we may sincerely repent of the sins committed, and avoid the present and future ones by the help of God. The first sin was committed by the Angels in heaven. First, the state in which the angels were before the sin; how many gifts of nature and grace they were adorned with, how the Lord God made them sincere spirits, immortal, endowed with reason and free will, wise, dwellers in Heaven and partakers of the glory of God.
Repeatedly, how ungrateful the Angels proved themselves, rebelling against God and using all their freedom and all their strength to offend Him whom, for so many titles, they should have served.

Thirdly, how much God abhors sin and how much He hates it, since He irrevocably rejected such perfect beings to eternal torment for just one sin.

Fourthly, how harmful and contagious is the power of sin, since these immortal beings, endowed with so many excellent qualities, have been so terribly corrupted and disfigured by it.

Fifthly, turning our attention to ourselves, let us compare our nature with that of the angels, our lowliness with their loftiness, and the number of our sins with one of their sins: and then let us marvel at the infinite goodness of God, who for one sin spurned the angels from Himself for ever, while He patiently endures us, defiled by countless sins.For one sin He punished the angels eternally, leaving them no salvation, while He redeems us from eternal death by the blood of His Son, and for us He institutes the Holy Sacraments and other means of salvation. What shame and sorrow should overwhelm us in view of this! By the same token, let us also consider the second sin which our first parents committed in Paradise, from which, as if from a root, grew all the unhappy consequences, miseries and infirmities of mortal life.

Then consider how long and hard Adam and Eve repented of this sin; their example should stimulate us to a sincere repentance of our grievous and grave transgressions. If the Lord God had freed one of the damned from hell, and allowed him to repent of his sins, how willingly and eagerly would he have undertaken this work? So should we, for God has already preserved us so many times from these punishments, which of course is no less a boon than if he had freed us from hell itself.
II The wickedness of sin is so great that it contains all possible kinds of wickedness. After all, evil is poverty, sorrow, slavery, sickness and death; all these are fruits of sin.It strips the soul of that dearest treasure of God, of consecrating grace; it afflicts the soul with inward vexations of conscience; it makes man the servant of lusts and the wicked slave of Satan; it tears the soul from God, that source of its life, and mercilessly kills it;It subverts, overthrows, corrupts and perverts everything, and brings upon man eternal punishment, which, as it were, consists of two parts, namely, the loss of seeing the Lord God face to face and the terrible torments of hell-fire.

The gravity of sin, however, can be known first of all from the Lord God: God is the highest and most perfect being, and therefore sin causes Him infinite offence. God is the highest good, which through sin we abandon and presume our happiness in insignificant creatures, which is manifest idolatry and a denial of the Divine being. He is the father, the bridegroom, the king and our lord; it is also by sin that we commit murder, adultery, ricochet, and unpardonable adultery.

And do you render this to the Lord, foolish and insane people; is he not your father, who possessed you and made you and created you? (Deut., XXXII, 7.) Thus wills the Lord G-d, and exhorts us that, remembering the benefits received from Him and the eternal life promised to us, we should strive for our salvation.

Satan, on the other hand, exhorts and calls us to obvious perdition in exchange for the vain and deceptive pleasures of the flesh and the world: yet we enter into an alliance with Satan against God and acquiesce in the promptings of our mortal enemy!It is necessary to reflect further on what has induced us to sin; for the greatness of the offence grows the lighter the cause that brings it about. What has induced us to sin? The meaningless and disgusting pleasures of the flesh, we have the smoke of glory, the vile desire for gain, in general, vain things and as smoke transient.

Thirdly, the greatness of the offence of sin is due to the nothingness and meanness of the offender. Man, this dust and handful of ashes, this short-lived smoke, a lowly earthly worm and a steak of decay, dares to insult the Supreme Monarch. If we are so afraid of man, who can only take away our earthly life, why are we not afraid of Him who can cast us down into the fires of hell?

Fourthly, sin not only offends God; it harms the angels and the saints, because it thwarts their help; it harms the holy Church, because it causes her grief at the loss of her own child; it harms the faithful too, because it gives them offense;it harms unbelievers, because they, seeing the wicked life of Christians, blame it on our holy religion ; it harms even the condemned themselves, because their punishment increases with the greater number of their fellows ; it harms all creatures, because they are used by the sinner as instruments to insult the Creator.

Fifthly, the gravity of sin is shown by the magnitude of the punishments it brings upon itself in this life and the next, by what Christ the Lord suffered to put away sin.Considering all this, we should arouse in ourselves the greatest regret and wonder that this earth still bears us; why we have not yet been exterminated by the angels, the servants of God’s justice, with their swords; why we are still enlightened by the sun, the moon and the stars; why all creatures have not come up in arms against us. Finally, we should thank the Lord God for the time to repent and resolve to lead a holier life from now on.

III. Now that we have thoroughly learned the wickedness and gravity of sin, we should examine our conscience and remember all our sins. The examination of conscience may be thus facilitated by going through, in thought and order, all the activities of our former life, all the places we have lived and all the occupations we have engaged in, reminding ourselves as carefully as possible what we have sinned against God’s and the Church’s commandments and against the duties of our own state at various times, in various places and at various occupations.

Then we confess all these sins with the greatest humility, first before God and then before a priest, admitting also our hidden sins.And finally, those which we have committed, either out of ignorance or because of satanic delusion, in such a way that we thought we were serving the Lord God. In the case of these sins, it is not so much the number of them that should be weighed up, but rather how often they were repeated, which, of course, was evidence of a certain frigidity and indifference, and, moreover, easily led to the reckless judgment that small sins are not worth much consideration.

Then it is necessary to go over the good deeds, the extent to which they were imperfect, overflowing with self-love and lacking in good intentions. Having examined all this, we will bring forth an act of contrition and repentance and we will acknowledge ourselves guilty and pronounce on ourselves, with our own lips, the sentence of eternal damnation.However, the eternal punishments we have deserved, we shall thus change into temporal ones, that we shall give ourselves to the Lord God with full readiness to bear all afflictions, wrongs and miseries in this life, so long as we atone for our sins with them.
IV. God’s mercy towards sinners is truly boundless. For, first of all, it extends to all people of every condition and dignity.

Secondly, it extends to all sins, so that God’s mercy is infinitely greater than all sins, however grievous and vile. Thirdly, it always expects repentance from sinners, promises them forgiveness and grants it when they ask for it, and forgets sins as if they had never been committed.
We should reflect further on how God’s mercy dealt with us when our sins drew down upon us the wrath of God; it showed treasures of wisdom and patience towards the object of wrath, for God did not punish us while severely flogging others for sins of unequal magnitude.

And not only did He not punish us, but at the same time He supported us, sustained us and showered us with His blessings, and we abused them to His offence. And when we persistently shunned Him, He, as it were, cared for nothing else, only to bring us back to Himself, to rebuke us and to divert us from the path of damnation.
We should therefore love this great Benefactor most warmly and implore Him most earnestly to grant us the grace of such contrition for our sins as to enable our sorrow and contrition to produce worthy fruits of repentance.These fruits are: constant sadness, sorrow, or a kind of habitual sorrow for our sins, whenever we recall them; fear and caution, combined with careful watchfulness not to sin again; avoidance of occasions of sin and repentance; and, finally, contempt for ourselves and love of God.

V. Here, at last, is the time for tears and heartfelt groans: for, even if we were to gather together all the tears that people have ever shed after the loss of their dearest things, even if we were to add to them all the tears of all the Saints and of the Blessed Virgin, and even if someone were to shed so many tears that they would overflow all the springs, rivers and seas, there would not be enough of them to adequately mourn a single mortal sin.

The infinite God cannot be satisfied by anything finite; hence our tears, so few and insignificant, must be united, with the abundant tears of the Saints and of the Most Holy Virgin, and offered all together to Christ the Lord, that He may present them with His inestimable, tears to the heavenly Father, and thus blot out our sins.

Next, we should repent of all mortal sins together and of each one individually, then of venial sins, of bad habits and other sinful accretions, of other people’s sins and of hidden sins.These sorrows should be such that they should make us contemptuous of ourselves, that we should desire to be despised of all for them, that we should be ready to endure all sorrows and that we should suffer all adversities with gladness of spirit. Since these tears are a special gift from God, they should be earnestly and humbly asked of Him.

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Ascetical Writings of Cardinal Jan Bona. I, Phoenix Reborn, or Spiritual Exercises. Tarnów, 1891.