Catholic during the Great Apostasy

Having considered the blindness of human reason, let us consider how its heart is weak and corrupt. It is weak when it goes for the fulfilment of good; but when it goes for the fulfilment of evil, it is all too strong.



The will of man, which God created good, was spoiled by original sin, and we are all born with this unfortunate perversity. The order of creation was perverted. Our hearts had a natural inclination to love God above all things. Because of sin, our love is directed towards ourselves: we love everything for ourselves. If at least this love of ourselves were rational, if we grasped what our true happiness consists in, love for ourselves would turn us to God as our beginning and ultimate end. But now we are guided neither by reason nor by a desire for our true benefit.

Self-love makes us consider ourselves as the centre of everything; it opposes our own good, because it desires only temporal, sensual goods, and loses sight completely of spiritual, supernatural goods.


Hence it follows that, from our earliest years, we strive with all our might for earthly goods; that it is only in their use that we find happiness; that the needs of the body, its pleasures occupy us and rule over us; that our soul, immersed, as it were, in sensuality, cannot rise at all, or rises with difficulty to spiritual objects.

Hence arises lust, the source of almost all sins.

The saints know it and grieve over it, for they know how it makes them vile, how many temptations it exposes them to, how it is contrary to the original order by which the soul was subject to God and the body to the soul. But the greater part of men, even Christians, not only do not grieve over this misery, but love it, take pride in it, and would consider it a misfortune if they were not subject to it

Man, having no passions, is considered a creature without life and spirit. Man, fighting against the passions in order not to succumb to them, is considered to be mindless, not caring about his happiness.

Hence comes the difficulty in understanding, loving and practising Christian morality, which aims to stamp out lust.

If we think that this morality is beautiful, reasonable, worthy of man, we come to know it not by the natural light of our reason.

We would never consider it as such if we were not enlightened by a ray of grace. But much more is needed to put this morality into action! With the help of grace we make resolutions, we pledge allegiance to God; we think we are strong, unshakeable; but at the first opportunity we fall; the slightest difficulty frightens us; the attraction to sensuality robs us of the memory of everything; in a word, we fall at every step; and by ourselves we cannot rise again.

What weakness! How it humiliates us!

I do not do the good that I want, but I do the evil that I do not want.

If I have at least a weak desire to do good, if I do not want to do evil, this is also a boon which I owe to grace; for the corruption and malice of my will is such that the first stirrings of it naturally move it away from good, and draw it towards evil. We do not need to examine ourselves at length to know the unhappiness of our disposition. Our heart is in almost constant battle with reason. Reason advises us otherwise, and passion advises us otherwise. We see what is best, we acknowledge it; and we act quite differently. One of the pagans even pointed this out.

This contradiction between reason and the passions causes constant restlessness of the soul.

But this is only the beginning of our anger. We become indignant at the prohibition of evil; we complain of a God who forbids us evil. We invent various proofs to show that this prohibition is unjust, oppressive, that man has the right to indulge, without measure or restraint, his passions.

Self-love wants to be the mistress of everything; it thinks that everything is due to it; it does not respect the rights of others. It envies others everything that it does not possess; but it not only envies, it uses every means to take it away from them. It is certain that passion would not respect anything if it had the power to break through all barriers. Remembrance of God never restrains it; only the fear of men and the consideration of men: therefore, as far as it can, it acts not by violence, but by deceit and treachery.

A crime is committed in the heart if one does not have the courage or the means to actually fulfil it. Much evil is done in the world; but far more is committed in the heart by sins that never come to pass for lack of opportunity or means.

If it were possible to see openly what are the desires of men, the intentions and plans that are formed in their hearts, we would judge that they are far worse than they appear.

The prohibition of evil not only outrages a man, but incites him to commit it. The law does not restrain the will, but excites it; the greatest allure of sin is in the fact that it is sin. Saint Paul said it, and experience convinces us of it every day: as soon as we are forbidden to do something, the urge to do it comes over us. The book, the picture, the spectacle that they forbid us stimulates our curiosity; we cannot rest until we have caught up with ourselves in it. What we most want to know is what they keep from us. It seems to us that all law, all compulsion dams our freedom; that neither God nor men have any right over our lusts. Can corruption and anger go any further!

On top of this, instead of being ashamed of this misery, people boast of it; instead of condemning it, they justify it, they boast of the wrong they have done and even of the wrong they have not done; they want to pretend to be worse than they really are!

If we think we are incapable of these abuses, we know very little of ourselves. The corruption is essentially the same in all hearts: only one passion, to which a person surrenders, can develop it.

Let us examine our hearts: let us recall what has been going on in them on this or that occasion; let us consider how far our lusts and inclinations would have led us, if upbringing, fear and religion had not restrained them, or if we had not lacked the opportunity to do so. Let us do ourselves justice and be sure that if God had not watched over us in a special way, there is no transgression into which our corruption would not have thrown us. Let us give thanks to God for having forgiven our sins and for having preserved us from greater ones still. Let us say with Saint Augustine that there is no crime, committed by one man, which another would not have been capable of committing and which he would not indeed have committed had it not been for Divine help.

Our misery, in fact, is so great that we cannot bear to see it; if God were to make it fully known to us, we would fall into despair: therefore, He makes it known to us gradually with an eye full of wisdom.

But since this knowledge is necessarily necessary for us to acquire humility, caution, distrust in ourselves, and trust in God; therefore, as we progress in virtue and gain strength, God sets before us our corruption and weakness.

According to the greatness of evil, He lets us know the value of the cure; He shows us up close the abyss from which His grace has led us. He showed Saint Teresa the place in hell into which she would have fallen had He not had mercy on her. Thus the sins we have committed, or might have committed, are the basis of our humility and holiness.

But God does not stop there, when it comes to the souls He predestines to high perfection; He does not limit Himself in giving them reason to comprehend their wretchedness; He allows them to become convinced of it by their own experience. He waits until their wills are established in goodness, so that there is no fear that they may sin. Then he allows them to feel their corruption; that evil thoughts and desires of various kinds fill their mind and heart; that all their passions are aroused; moreover, he allows Satan to add his temptations to the lusts of a corrupt nature. These souls, so pure, so disgusted with sin, are, as it were, immersed in it, immersed in it; or at least they think they are; it seems to them that they are guilty of the vilest sins; that they have permitted them, although they are far from it.

A guide, thoroughly familiar with their inner disposition, cannot reassure them. God continues to leave them in this state until they have acquired the humility suitable to the degree of holiness to which He destines them. This is the state of the soul that many saints have passed through; mystical writers have given prescriptions according to which this state can be known and how souls who are so afflicted by God should be guided.

Saint Paul says of himself that in order to preserve him from the pride into which he might have been lifted, because of the great revelations he had received, God gave him a bodily stimulus and allowed Satan to slap him. He adds that he asked God three times to deliver him from these temptations, but God answered him: “My grace is sufficient for you, for virtue is perfected in weakness”; that is, the feeling of our own weakness serves to show the power of grace and to purify the virtue of man.

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Rev. Nicholas Grou SI, Guide on the path of spiritual life, Krakow 1907.