Catholic during the Great Apostasy

I find it hard Lord

Sometimes my weaknesses outweigh my love for You my Lord. After all, such conduct wounds your Body already sufficiently battered by human sins.

The man of struggle that I have been all my life is now so weak. All it takes is a moment of doubt that You are by my side and he falls. What a great ingratitude on my part that human loneliness can also get me.

I do not believe, only I know, after all, that you are always with us. But sometimes it is so hard for me. When the world hatefully attacks and multiplies obstacles in the path of life.What are the logs thrown under my feet on the road to Golgotha on the path of hope of salvation? Nothing as I am nothing. As storm waves crash against the rocks so do the attacks of evil against the mantle of Your Blessed Mother with which she protects us. But every moment of doubt causes us to melt, and every turning away from You the Beloved Savior leads to our souls becoming stones rolling down into hell

Nothing God can justify such ingratitude as sin. For what can justify betraying the great love you have bestowed upon us?

So forgive Lord a moment of doubt , forgive a moment of looking back at a world that hates us . Loneliness and rejection is a cross so heavy that sometimes I can’t get up , and I think you overestimate my capabilities . This is just such empty human thinking of a person underestimating your infinite love .

It’s hard for me God!

Everywhere you hear people’s rants, people’s lies and half-truths, quarrels and sfars about irrelevant matters . Rules – some in blasphemy break, others wave them like swords. There are wars and storms over human affairs, and your sheep handed over to the wolves.

I don’t know God what awaits me and I don’t want to know anything, except whether I follow Your Will Lord our Jesus Christ . Please God let Your love guide me and protect me with the motherly care of the Blessed Virgin, and from every fall I will rise. For the Hope of Salvation is a sword of the purest and hardest steel and is surpassed only by Your unyielding Justice.

2019

Arkadiusz Niewolski